Edition #20: give me eyes to see
I turned down my first TV punditry role for the 2015 World Para Athletics Championships in Doha.
I was angry because I had a prolapsed disc and I didn’t want to commentate when I should have been competing for gold.
I wanted my perfect plan, or nothing at all.
Which was dumb. Just because one opportunity vanishes, doesn’t mean that all opportunities vanish…
…but only if you have the eyes to see.
““There is no security on this earth; there is only opportunity.”
The Problem: I want perfection or nothing at all
The problem with this kind of thinking…
… is that the entire natural world disagrees with you. Even nature thinks perfection is overrated.
Consider a snowflake - stunning creations made up of ice crystals, water vapour, and microscopic dust.
The reason every snowflake is unique is because of its unique descent: swirling, tumbling, and colliding through different humidities and temperatures.
What began as a perfect hexagonal prism arrives on the ground bruised and asymmetrical. A snowflake’s beauty has nothing to do with perfection, and literally everything to do with its journey.
The Solution: Make the most of the opportunity in front of you
Learn to spot the opportunities others miss…
One of my favourite scenes from Friends is Season 5 Episode 18 where Monica and Phoebe throw Rachel a surprise birthday party.
Monica dominates the planning and takes control of all the important stuff like food, wine, invitations, and entertainment.
Phoebe gets stuck with cups and ice.
So what does Phoebe do?
Phoebe elevates them. She doesn’t begrudge the smallness. She has the eyes to see.
(I could describe the scene, but this 90 second clip is so much funnier!)
The Application:
Three weeks ago, I was on a Zoom call with some very important BBC people I hoped to impress. It was my first time covering the London Marathon, and I wanted them to think I knew what I was doing.
My husband has a habit of yelling up the stairs, asking me to do things any time I have an important meeting. So, fifteen minutes before it started, I went downstairs, reminded Brent about my very important meeting, and asked if he needed anything.
“Nope. I’m fine. Go smash it!”
Fifteen minutes into the meeting, Brent yells up the stairs. I try to ignore him, but it’s distracting and annoying, and I’m missing the very important things the producer is saying.
I mute my mic and yell back, “Stop yelling! I’m in the super-important BBC marathon meeting and can’t deal with this right now.”
I refocused, and took myself off mute.
Except that I wasn’t on mute. I thought I was. But in fact, I had I turned off my camera. Not my mic.
Everybody heard, and I was mortified. I wasn’t exactly mean, but it was definintely not the kind of tone I would use in front of someone else.
To everyone who kept a straight face on the call and pretended like nothing happened, I am eternally grateful.
For those who laughed, I know who you are, and I made a list.
At that point, there was nothing I could do but own it. To be fair, it was pretty funny. Every single person on that call had experienced that moment with their partner. And while they were very glad they weren’t the ones exposed, no one was judging me.
People like seeing humans in all their humaness. And even in that super-embarrassing moment, where producers may have been wondering if I should be left on my own in a commentating booth with a live microphone, there was still an opportunity to be had: connection.
Not to mention, when the BBC starts thinking about who to hire for the marathon next year, everyone will remember me.
What opportunity is waiting for you today? Step 1 is to see it. Step 2 is to do something about it!
Thank goodness someone else saw the opportunity I couldn’t in 2015. They convinced me to call Channel 4 back and at least try.
Eleven years on, my athletics career is done and dusted, but the TV work continues.
There are multiple paths to success. So what if one gets blocked. Ask for a map and find a different way up the mountain.
Stay bold, friends!
- Stef
PS. Brent would like it known that he had a very legitimate reason for yelling up the stairs. I have encouraged him to reply to this email with any comments or concerns. I love hearing from all HMFC members and read every email!
Forward this to a friend you want to encourage!
Or forward to someone looking for an inspirational speaker.