Edition #19: It’s not me… It’s you
When I saw the movie trailer for Project Hail Mary I thought,
“Perfect - ‘Hail Mary’ will now be a globally recognised term and people will stop wondering if I am running a Catholic cult.”
Plus, I was hoping a whole new audience would accidentally find themselves on my webpage.
The spike in website traffic did not transpire.
But it doesn’t matter because this movie is the most brilliant reminder that when the whole world is counting on you, you do have what it takes to succeed.
(Spoiler alert - if you are planning to watch the film, maybe save this one until later!)
“Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
The Problem: What if I don’t have what it takes?
The problem with this question is that it’s the wrong one…
Because you do have what it takes. We all do.
But if that’s true, why do we constantly find ourselves coming back to this question and feeling like we don’t?
The honest answer is that I may not have what it takes right now. There might be some work to do.
Maybe I have some skills to learn.
Some experience to gain.
Perhaps I’m in the wrong environment, with the wrong support.
The good news is that these are all things I can change. And this is the question I need to be asking instead 👇
The Solution: What do I need to change around me?
It’s not me…it’s you
What changes when you stop assuming you’re the problem?
Instead, ask yourself, “What can I change around me?” It’s one of my favourite thought experiments.
Because your next move will be very different when you decide you are exactly who you’re meant to be, and it’s your environment and strategy that need adjusting.
This is why I loved Project Hail Mary. Dr. Ryland Grace saves the world, but he’s not the hero you expect. He didn’t think he had what it takes.
He refused the mission. He begged not to go. Even though he knew not going meant certain death for himself and the world.
Dr. Grace couldn’t change who he was. He couldn’t pretend to be brave and fearless. So the mission leader changed his environment for him, by having him tackled, put in a coma, and sent off on a suicide space mission unconscious and against his will.
Not exactly the hero origin story you want to share. But I identify with the honesty.
Dr. Grace had what it takes. He just needed some help bringing it to the surface.
Obviously, I’m not suggesting this as a template. This was extreme and probably illegal. Not to mention it’s a movie and 100% not real!
But what changes when your default is that you do have what it takes?
Assume you have it. And start working on how to express it.
My first race post amputation. Not yet sure if I could make it as a Paralympian. But young and crazy enough to arrange my life and my environment as though it were a given!
The Application:
I was in first year physics at Queen’s University and it was not going well. I was behind, having never taken physics in high school because I thought I wanted to be a lawyer.
But a change of heart meant that physics was a requirement for pre-med, and nothing made sense. The class may as well have been taught in Mandarin. Maybe if I had more time to digest all these new concepts, but the pace was too fast.
I had two options:
Accept that I’m just not clever enough for physics
Find a new strategy
If I wasn’t clever enough for physics, then it was game over. So I put that thought on hold and thought about how I could tackle the problem of pace instead.
And that was actually very easy to solve.
I hired a tutor. He was a PhD candidate with a planet-sized brain and now, instead of solving just one problem an hour, I could whip through eight. I had someone to answer my questions immediately instead of waiting for my professer’s Friday office hours.
Now, I could pick up two weeks worth of knowledge and practice in a single afternoon.
I aced the course, proving there was nothing wrong with me. I just needed a different set up.
What’s one change you can make to your schedule or environment to increase your chance of success?
And if that change doesn’t work, keep trying out new combinations until it does.
Everything changes when you realise you can change your environment. Use your guts and your common sense, and don’t give up!
Stay bold, friends!
- Stef 💪
PS. You can catch me doing the 2026 London Marathon commentary this Sunday April 27th for the host broadcast feed (which means you will hear me everywhere in the world apart from the UK!)
Forward this to a friend you want to encourage!
Or forward to someone looking for an inspirational speaker.