Edition #13: Is it cheating to ask for help?
Nothing great has ever been achieved alone.
Whatever your goal, whatever your vision, you give yourself the best shot at success by creating a team around you.
And yes - the most important thing is to believe in yourself.
But it makes a big difference when others believe in you as well.
“I used to have horrible cars, because I never had money, so I’d always end up broken down on the highway. When I stood there trying to flag someone down, nobody stopped. But when I pushed my own car, other drivers would get out and push with me. If you want help, help yourself—people like to see that.”
The Problem: Is it cheating to ask for help?
I know I can do it, just not by myself…
We glorify independence. But the reality is that gold medals don’t care if you did all of the work all by yourself.
All that matters is the final performance, with no bonus for self-sufficiency.
You don’t get an extra 10% because you were the athlete in addition to being the coach, the physio, the psychologist, the nutritionist, the logistics manager, the performance director...
Something I have observed over and over again is that the best in the world have the best support.
And perhaps it’s a little easier for someone like Usain Bolt who likely has thousands of talented people wanting to be in his corner.
But it’s still possible to put together a dream team of support, even if you aren’t the fastest man in the world!
The Solution: Take Action
Start pushing and trust people will come…
“I will do whatever it takes to help you, apart from supplying the motivation. That’s your job.”
My coach was always very clear about where the responsibility lay for this one.
And how did he know if I was doing my job? From my actions:
Am I showing up on time?
Am I giving my best?
Am I coming with ideas?
Am I doing the work?
Am I executing his technical cues?
Results stem from action. And people get excited when they see it because they know something big will follow. It’s just the way it works. And people will get behind you because we all love a transformation story.
So, as Chris Rock discovered, if you want help, start pushing.
They will come.
The Application:
Building that support team…
I was 20, and just made the decision to give this whole Paralympic sprinter thing a shot. I didn’t know a lot about athletics, but I knew I would need a coach.
I was lucky to be living 15 minutes from the only national training center in Canada. And my plan was to show up and let the coaches fight over who would train me.
Stef running on a track
As it turned out, no one was interested in the unfit, untrained sprinter with one foot.
So on to Plan B. I kept going during open hours. I watched how the sprint groups trained, and I did the same drills and the same workouts at the other end of the track.
Sure, it was kind of embarrassing to be giving off annoying little sister vibes - the kind where she copies everything you do and won’t leave you alone. But it was a public space, I wasn’t doing anything wrong, and it was my best option to learn.
And I did.
And people noticed.
The perception changed from sad, to a little annoying, to a lot annoying, to “Wow, this girl is serious and she’s committed and improving and I want to be a part of it.”
Eventually, a coach approached me. Not from the elite coaching group - this isn’t a Hollywood movie! But it was a good coach with some good provincial level athletes.
He trained me for the summer, gave me a great foundation, along with the confidence to keep going.
I could never have done this journey alone. But it was my job to take the first step.
What step can you take this Friday to show others (and yourself) your commitment?
You don’t have to be extraordinary to get people behind you.
But you do have to take action!
And it becomes a virtuous cycle where you become more confident because more people are behind you, which means you take more action, which means more people and more confidence, and so on!
Stay bold, friends!
Stef 💪
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