Edition #22: You have to buy a ticket to win the lottery
Life comes with few guarantees.
Which is unfortunate because our amygdalas crave certainty.
It’s why really going for something is risky. You can plan and train and strategize to the nth degree and you still may not get the result you want.
But one thing you can be absolutely certain of:
You definitely won’t win if you don’t play.
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
The Problem: I only want to try if I know I’ll succeed
Trying has its risks.
You might look silly
You might invest a whole bunch of time and effort and have nothing to show for it.
You might fail.
But don’t forget that not trying also has its risks:
Not learning
Not growing
Not discovering your potential.
If both are risky, you may as well choose the one that gives you a shot at greatness!
The Solution: Define yourself by the process, not the outcome
If the result is never guaranteed, it's a terrible place to put your self-worth. Of course outcomes matter. They matter quite a lot. But they don't tell the whole story.
My coach Aston (right of the pic) always insisted I have two sets of goals.
Process Goals = These were about doing the work.
Showing up on time.
Completing every training session.
Giving every rep my best effort.
Sleeping well.
Fueling properly.
I had complete control over their execution.
Outcome Goals = These were the medals, rankings and podium finishes.
They mattered too. In my case, my team selection and funding depended on them. But Aston knew they weren't the full definition of success.
His standard for excellence was simple:
Did I deliver my best?
If I set a personal best, but another athlete happened to be better than me on the day, that was disappointing. But my achievement was still worth celebrating.
Because my success was based on my performance, not theirs.
The Application:
If you haven't heard, I was recently nominated for a Canadian Screen Award for Best Sports Host for my work with CBC's Paralympic coverage.
But you probably did hear because I have been shamelessly posting about it non-stop.
It was my first broadcasting nomination and I was absolutely thrilled. I was also realistic. I was up against three broadcasters with long careers, multiple nominations and previous wins.
The ceremony was in Toronto. I live in the UK. Which meant paying for flights, accommodation and time away from work for an award I probably wasn't going to win.
Opinion was mixed.
My agents weren't sure it was worth the expense.
I spoke to previous nominees and winners who had skipped the ceremony entirely.
Then I spoke to my mum, who was convinced I would win and thought I should absolutely attend. For context, she lives in Toronto, is wildly biased and is always up for seeing me in person
After weighing it all up, I decided to go. Not because I thought I would win. Because it was worth the investment regardless.
I would meet people in the industry. Strengthen relationships. Put myself out there. Walk a red carpet. Create some memories. And if the impossible happened and I won, I'd be there to enjoy it.
And it did. I won!!!
My mum's reaction became one of the talking points of the evening. My hastily assembled speech worked better than anything I could have planned. And I spent the reception meeting people who already knew who I was. It was a dream!
But here's the important bit: The decision to go was the right one before I won.
Had someone else's name been called, I still would have come home happy with my investment.
But I would have been devastated to hear my name called out while sitting in front of a screen 5,500 kilometres away.
It is always worth backing yourself.
I say that as someone who has backed herself plenty of times and watched it not work out.
The disappointment passes. The regret of not trying sticks around much longer.
I still care about winning. And I suspect I always will.
But I work very hard not to let winning define me.
I'm far more interested in how boldly I'm willing to pursue it.
Is there something you’ve been waiting for permission to do? Consider this your permission slip and get cracking!
There are no guarantees you'll succeed.
But there is something deeply satisfying about becoming the kind of person who is willing to find out. And this is what the Hail Mary Friday Club is all about!
Stay bold, friends!
- Stef 💪
PS. You can find my acceptance speech in all it’s glory here
Forward this to a friend you want to encourage!
Or forward to someone looking for an inspirational speaker.