Edition #2. The Hail Mary Friday Club: Where Does Fear Come From?
Welcome to the latest meeting of the Hail Mary Friday Club, where we think about how to live with more boldness, courage, and audacity…and then every Friday we do something about it!
I am so glad you’re here! This is going to be fun.
If you missed the opening edition explaining what the Hail Mary Friday Club is, you can catch up here.
“Do not fear failure. But rather fear not trying”
- Roy T. Bennet, author of The Light in the Heart
The Problem: Fear
Where does fear come from?
Fear can stop us going for what we really want: fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of what others will thing. We can get really existential about it. But the straightforward anatomical answer is that fear comes from your Amygdala, which sits level in your brain with your eyes and is about the size of a shelled peanut. It’s part of the limbic system, responsible for our emotions, behaviour, and memory.
Photo credit: UCDavis Health
When you feel scared or full of anxiety, it’s because your amygdala is lighting up like a firework. Now, before you start wishing your amygdala away, take a moment to appreciate how much it cares about you: you will never meet anyone more invested in your survival than your amygdala.
The problem is that it can be a little too invested. It starts equating things sharing a new idea with your boss to a hippo charging towards you at full speed. The flight or fight response is super helpful in one of these situations. Less so in the other. Especially if you want to learn and grow.
The Solution: Exposure Effect
How can I overcome fear my fears?
The good news is you can override your amygdala. Fear is real and the emotions associated with it are never silly. But you can choose a different response. I’ll be sharing some strategies over the coming weeks on how to overcome fear and go for what you really want.
Today’s strategy is the Exposure Effect. It’s based on simple brain science: the more you are exposed to something, the less scary it becomes. You might even start to like it!
Photo credit: Moresapien
For years, marketers have been using this highly effective strategy to gain our trust and get us to buy their stuff. We naturally gravitate to the familiar, so why not use this hack to our advantage?
The butterflies and anxiety that come with trying something new may never go away. But what if operating alongside your fear started to feel like business as usual? Imagine the freedom!
Enter the Hail Mary Friday Club, where doing something bold, scary and exciting every Friday becomes your normal.
Story Time: Some inspiration for your next Hail Mary
Here’s one of my Hail Marys from last winter that actually led somewhere (spoiler alert – they usually don’t and that is totally fine!):
The Nottingham Panthers are part of a semi professional ice hockey league in the UK. I take skating lessons in the same complex where they train. Every home game, they arrange for a figure skater to perform in the half time show.
For 2 year, I’ve wanted to do it. What an experience to perform live in front of 8,000 people! But I was too scared to put myself forward. What ice hockey fan wants to watch a slightly above average, 40 year old woman with an artificial skating leg? What if the Panther’s event team laughed at me for even asking.
But it would only take 30 seconds to ask. I could be brave for 30 seconds.
They said yes, and it was incredible. I’m still smiling about it while typing this. The audience was full of energy and encouragement (and beer!). They graciously ignored my stumble as I stepped on to the ice and they cheered for my single, slightly under rotated Salchow like I landed a triple axel in the Olympics.
It’s one of the most exhilarating things I’ve ever done. All I had to do was ask! And the next time I want to ask for something, being brave for those 30 seconds will be that little bit easier.
What’s something a bold, scary and exciting you can do on Friday?
That’s it for now! I’m off to my plan my next Hail Mary! Stay bold friends and I’ll catch you in your inbox in a few weeks time!
- Stef 👽
PS. If you want to learn more about the Exposure Effect and how to work it to your advantage, check out this 5 min video and this short article.
PPS. I would love to celebrate and share your Hail Mary Friday experiments with the community as a source of inspiration and learning. Please send them to (email address – not set up yet). And remember, Hail Marys are about having the audacity to try, not guaranteeing an outcome.
